Monday, August 13, 2007

home?

well I made it back safe and sound.

thought I would let you all know.

not sure what I think of all this being home business. I feel strange to say the least. I am enjoying reconnecting with people who I've been missing in ways the past 7 months but I fear losing my connections with those I grew close to in the past 7 months. The two worlds are tearing me in different directions and that is painful. And I'm still in a process of reflecting and absorbing my past experiences while constantly being faced with the future and that's overwhelming. It's going to be a hard process but I also look forward to growing in and continuing to learn from it. And I'm thankful that I'm forced to endure this process because of what it means I've come from.

go back to school in a week, not sure if I'll keep this up or not, we'll see if anything moves me.

thanks for all of you who went on this journey on me and take care.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

saying goodbye again

I’m tired of saying goodbye. I have said goodbye to people more in the past year than ever in my life; friends and family at home, friends who graduated, Namibia and now Cape Town. How do you properly say goodbye to people who have impacted your life more than you can ever explain and to places that warms your heart and fills you up when ever you look around you? So much more I wanted to share in my posts about my experience in Cape Town, for instance, I never explained what I really do at SHADE and what they do as an organization which I should try to explain again some time because it really is incredible, so many people are reached, thousands, incredible. I would really love to work for an organization like SHADE someday; I’ve never experienced working for something that I believe in as much as I believe in what SHADE does. This organization made up of 5 permanent staff (plus a couple volunteers) is impacting people all over the continent in enormous, life changing ways, and it truly is all done out of love.

I went back to Namibia to visit for a week. I don’t know what it is about that country but my heart just feels happier there. It was so nice to be back, strange for sure, but so nice. My visit was far too short but I think it was good it didn’t last longer because who knows if I would have left this time if I stayed longer! It was wonderful but painful to leave again, God willing, I’ll be back someday.

Yesterday was my birthday and it was definitely one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. The night before I had dinner at my fellow interns’ house and then we celebrated some. Next morning, pancakes then to work for a couple hours which were filled with music, dancing, mardi gras beads and toilet paper streamers. Then a visit to Robben Island, the island off the cape that hosted the political prisoners like Nelson Mandela. The island was interesting but a little disappointing because half of it was closed for maintenance. The boat ride however was spectacular. Get picked up just to be brought to my place for a surprise party for me. I had absolutely no clue and it was so nice and so fun, made me feel extremely special and Branca sure can cook J Then a few of my closest friends and myself went out and got our groove on, African style, so much fun.

Today I spent a couple hours on the back of a motorbike driving through the mountains and along the coast, breathtaking views, really refreshing, definitely a highlight.

So now I’m trying to say goodbye and prepare for my trip home, which quite frankly I’m absolutely terrified of. My loved ones at home: don’t take offense if I don’t seem like I don’t want to be there, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just means I miss this place like crazy and not sure what I think about living in the states.

What I will miss about living in Woodstock, Cape Town:
  • Hearing the daily Muslim calls to worship
  • walking by my friend Nicolas who is painting the house near me who continuously greets me and tries to teach me a little Xhosa
  • walking by my friend Babishe the security guard who continuously tells me I’m crazy for various things and trying to communicate to him through his broken English and my broken French
  • hugging Tembo’s (my boss) children
  • hearing david (tembo’s husband) laugh and tell me naughty boy every time he needs me to move so he can get in the safe
  • Philomene’s laughter and asking me to make crazy phone calls and then trying to understand what the heck she’s talking about
  • Everything about philomene
  • Laughing with Branca (my housemate) about men and Americans and everything crazy in life
  • Pap and spinach
  • The wonderful music that makes my soul sing
  • Milos and Don Pedros
  • the ocean
  • The mountains, the incredible mountains that seem to stretch forever and especially into my heart
  • Hiking table mountain and looking upon the city
  • Conversations and gaining words of wisdom from Retha and Greg and how they seem to care
  • Freddy’s dancing
  • Walking by the video guy on my way to Shoprite who just laughs at me
  • Taxi drivers yelling “Cape Town, Wyneberg” and chasing after you when you certainly don’t want a ride
  • living in a constant state of awe and fear
  • Buying lots of grocers for very little money
  • Sunrises and sunsets
  • Feeling like I can contribute
  • Walking to work and taking public transport to most places
  • Learning to communicate with people whose first language is not English
  • Being part of something important
  • Late night chats with Kelly
  • The girls from Sivewe and watching them run around half naked on the beach
  • SMSing
  • Sunny days in cape town
  • many peoples' laughter
  • Attending Woodstock Methodist church
  • Mama Charlotte
  • The colorful houses and streets
  • Talking to random people in the streets
  • Not continuously having guilt
  • Hearing stories of refugees and stories from those under apartheid
  • Feeling free and inspired on a daily basis
  • Everyone I’ve met and grown to love

I will surely miss everyone and everything (well not quite everything) here and in southern Africa. I have now spent a little over 6 months in southern Africa and it has been incredible. I wish I could somehow express how I’ve changed and what I’ve learned but that you’ll just have to see for yourself. I’m so glad I had this experience and will never be the same because of it, and generally in a good way. For all of you out there who wonder about Africa, all you really need to know is that the people are incredible; I have never met a collective group of people who are so friendly, so hospitable, so loving and so joyful than those I’ve met in the past 6 months. That is what I want to take back with me the most: to love people like I’ve seen love here.